Mine.

Someone put
You on a slave block
And the unreal bought
You

Now I keep coming to your owner
Saying,

‘This one is mine.’

You often overhear us talking
And this can make your heart leap
With excitement.

Don’t worry,
I will not let sadness
Possess you.

 I will gladly borrow all the gold
I need

To get you
Back.

~Hafiz~

What is it exactly about hindsight that makes you see so clearly something that you missed while embroiled in the thick of it?

Some say we can never go back to Love that we lost. I say we never really lost it. It just gets waylaid somewhere along the way. Ambition. Careers. Drive. Dreams. Ego. Stubbornness. Hurt. And the Granddaddy of all relationship killers...timing.

Occasionally we get an opportunity to revisit Old Love. Sometimes it's accidental. Sometimes intentional.

The thing that I find is most interesting is that revisiting Old Love is like putting on your favorite old clothes. Old love fits well. It's comfortable. You know how it feels. And you know where you can stretch it and where you need to be careful so you don't tear the fabric. You know where all the worn spots are and how thin they may be. You don't have to impress Old Love because Old Love knows you just as well as you know Old Love. Old Love is the messy bun and sweatpants you wear on weekends.

Unfortunately, Old love is just that. It's old. There's a reason it didn't work out.

Sometimes we just need to feel. Something. Anything. And finding comfort in a compassionate face and a familiar heart isn't so bad. Just make sure you are seeking solace in Old Love for the right reason.

Inevitably, Old Love finds me. Frequently it takes many years of meandering through time and space before Old Love turns up. Like a bad penny. Old Love is always there...

Anyone who has experienced Old Love turning up knows Old Love's phrases well. 

"Losing you was the worst mistake of my life."

"I've missed what we had."

And my favorite...

"I've never stopped loving you."

 Don't get me wrong...Old Love is beautiful. You can look at Old Love through the mist and romantic fog of memories and it's all soft and hazy. Old Love can be warm and cozy. Old Love knows how you love your coffee, that you love to read ancient poetry on rainy days in wool socks, you cry during movies. Old Love knows what spot on your neck to kiss to make you melt, walking through a forest of trees make you happy and that your favorite flowers are peonies. Old Love tells you they think about you when they hear certain songs or read Thoreau. Old Love is familiar. Old Love is nostalgia and comfort and beautiful green eyes flecked with gold...

And Old Love left you.

Not because you weren't enough for them. Because you were too much. Were too passionate. Too driven. Too focused on career and family and life to pay enough attention to them. Old Love wounded you because they were afraid. They felt too deeply. Were too enamored of you. Old Love loved you too much.

So, when they call...you're not surprised. Old Love knows you are a forgiving and accepting person. They know you will actually talk to them and that you don't hate them. Old Love will flatter you with gifts and platitudes and flowers because they want you to make them feel as good as you always have. They bask in your presence. And have that softness in their voice when they say your name. Reverently. Like a prayer.

You know Old Love isn't really in love with you...Old Love needs your support. Because you're good at that.

The problem with this scenario is that you know it's short lived. Old Love doesn't change. No matter how well intentioned he is. You still are too much. Too passionate. Too driven. Too focused. And have too much energy for them to handle. You're overpowering...

No matter how much Old Love tells Unreal ‘This one is mine.’, you never will belong to anyone. You cannot be possessed by anyone. Not even sadness. All the gold in the world will never buy you back from Unreal...

Your heart and soul is a well. Your spirit runs deep.

There are different wells within your heart.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far too deep for that.

In one well
You have just a few precious cups of water,
That “love” is literally something of yourself,
It can grow as slow as a diamond
If it is lost.

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a
Stranger,
Only to someone
Who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

There are different wells within us.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far, far too deep
For that.

~Hafiz~

Kiss Old Love on the cheek and nestle in the arms to give your dear Old Love some comfort. Let them bask in your sun for a little while. They just miss your warmth. Old Love would never cut off pieces of their soul to comfort you...they just aren't built that way. You are. You're as deep as the earth and your soul is as vast as the Universe. Rains never reach some of our wells...some wells will always remain dry.

Tuck Old Love away with worn pictures faded with the patina of age and wrap them carefully so Old Love will not be damaged. Because Old Love is beautiful. Necessary. And in your past. You will not belong to Old Love. They belong to you. 

You know.

"Old Love is mine..."