Devote yourself

“I saw wild, dangerous beauty. I saw devotion. I saw you.” 

~Nalini Singh~

The most beautiful people tend to have stories that are unbelievable. Not the physically beautiful people that are envied because they look good. But, those who have experienced tragedy and loneliness and trauma and still mold a remarkable life out of the ashes of their history.

I am constantly humbled to experience a life of beauty. In the people I meet, get to know, learn from, and even the ones I raise.

People misunderstand that to have a beautiful life you don't need to have everything go your way. That life is easy. That you get everything you want. To have a beautiful life means you find the sacred in the ordinary and you are devoted to finding balance and composition in chaos.

My inspiration for my beautiful life comes from my ancestors, my family, my work, and even in myself.

Someone not long ago said that I had it easy. They see my joy in living. They see the love and devotion I lavish on my family, friends and patients. They see my happiness and assumed that because I have these things, do these things and am the person I am that my life must be charmed.

My story is like many. I've experienced my fair share of pain. I've experienced more than my share of failure. I've experienced more than my share of darkness, heartbreak, tragedy and loss. I've seen atrocities that others haven't, and the miracles in others that few have been blessed to experience. Those experiences have shaped my perspective and my dedication to create a life that I can be proud of. A life filled with indescribable depth of emotion and love.

That's not to say any of this can be easy. In fact it's not. It's inordinately difficult. It's lonely. It's filled with tears. And it's filled with challenges. But, it's also filled with gratitude, loyalty, love and respect.

The one thing that carries me through all this is knowing full well that all this is a gift to me. I am present and aware of the grace in my life. The challenges are an honor to work through, on my behalf or for others. The path I walk is made less lonely because there are people that walk the path with me, behind me and those that have walked in front of me.

Our lives are sacred. Unique. Blessed. We have been put upon this earth to enrich the lives of others with our lessons and our hearts. It's only how we choose to walk our paths that enable us to create the life we want.

The further I get along with life, the more I understand this and other truths. One of the greatest gifts I have been given is to share what I learn, know and experience with others. My life is a testament to faith. To dedication to living my values. And the devotion I have to my Creator, my family and to those I serve.

Never would I have thought that the isolation or loneliness in my heart or mind that I felt would allow me a window to see the beauty in my own life and life in general. I get completely emotional when I think about how many times I wanted to give up, break down or to just stop...trying, extending my faith or living. To stop believing in the goodness of man. To stop believing in the goodness of myself. To stop being devoted to finding the miracles of our very human existence.

Twenty years. Fifteen years. Ten years. In those increments of time past, I never would have imagined that my life would be where it is today. I'm so glad I could look into myself and believe that life gets better. That I would get better. That it wasn't always going to be so hard.

I look to you and say, as I said to myself those many years ago, I see you. We are wild of heart and dangerous in our capabilities. We have the power to choose. What we believe. What we experience. Our expectations. And the life we live. I see you. You have power. You are love, incarnate. You are your own Creator.

In old age, I want to look back upon my life and smile. I want to leave my space in the world more than how I found it to be. I want to leave it better. I want to leave a legacy of love. Of encouragement. Of remarkable faith. Of courage. That we have the power to make this lifetime the most important for us and for those lives we touch. We have the shadows of our ancestors living inside us. In our spirit. In our hearts and minds. In every action we do.

Take my hand. Talk with me. Walk with me. Love me.

I see you. You wild and glorious spirit. You miracle of humanity. You timeless wonder.

You have my devotion. I see your potential. And I see all this reflected from my eyes to yours.

Let us walk together. Transformed. Together.

I see you.

You are beautiful like me.

Walking in Beauty: Closing Prayer from the Navajo Way Blessing Ceremony

In beauty I walk
With beauty before me I walk
With beauty behind me I walk
With beauty above me I walk
With beauty around me I walk
It has become beauty again

Hózhóogo naasháa doo
Shitsijí’ hózhóogo naasháa doo
Shikéédéé hózhóogo naasháa doo
Shideigi hózhóogo naasháa doo
T’áá altso shinaagóó hózhóogo naasháa doo
Hózhó náhásdlíí’
Hózhó náhásdlíí’
Hózhó náhásdlíí’
Hózhó náhásdlíí’

Today I will walk out, today everything negative will leave me
I will be as I was before, I will have a cool breeze over my body.
I will have a light body, I will be happy forever, nothing will hinder me.
I walk with beauty before me. I walk with beauty behind me.
I walk with beauty below me. I walk with beauty above me.
I walk with beauty around me. My words will be beautiful.
In beauty all day long may I walk.
Through the returning seasons, may I walk.
On the trail marked with pollen may I walk.
With dew about my feet, may I walk.
With beauty before me may I walk.
With beauty behind me may I walk.
With beauty below me may I walk.
With beauty above me may I walk.
With beauty all around me may I walk.
In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, lively, may I walk.
In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, living again, may I walk.
My words will be beautiful…